Lately, i kept having dreams of my mum...

I dreamt of us sitting in an old house burning away some old stuff...."this one old already, don't keep", mum kept repeating the same thing while going through some childhood stuffs that used to belong to me.

Then i dreamt of my dad passing, mum got so angry and upset that he had to go...

Then another dream, i dreamt that i was at her funeral, the familiar sadness woke me up...

Time does erase alot of things, but never memories....i never realise how true this is until i had to experience a lost so dear to me.

I asked KD if i should seek professional help, as it had been a year plus since she left and i am still missing her, crying over her (occasionally) and dreaming about her...

One of the funnier conversation i had with Dot was when i was lecturing him on a new toy that he managed to his hands on, through my MIL!

"KAYTON! You have got so many NEW toys at home, you still ask Ah Mah to buy you this NEW toy car??!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo mummy, this is a OLD toy we buy, NOT new one!"

He then proceeded to show me the side of this toy car where the sticker came out!

Okay, even though it does sounds funny at point of time, but then i also know that i shouldn't allow him to waste money like this....on the other hand, he might be too young to understand how money is to be earned!

What's up lately?

The usual, i am taking my Thyroid medication faithfully, spending my weekends working at the center, OH by the way, if you are reading this and is a mother of primary school's kids, visit our center's website at http://academy.myhometutor.org for our June Holiday courses. Dot had been the usual, always teaching the same virture, PATIENCE! He had been going to a foot reflexology center for foot massage. He enjoyed the sessions so much that he would remind me time and again that 'I LIKE FOOT MASSAGE'! His digestive system improved, and his appetite is better. I love it how the two of us will sank into those huge black sofa, enjoyed our massage and then left home with a warmth and wide smile in our faces. Neat way to bond!

Who's that somebody??

So we were at a petrol station last nite, and while waiting for KD to finish 'feeding' his car, Dot saw a toy at the side of the cashier, "i want this, mummy". Then, he commented again, "hmm, cannot, WAIT SOME PEOPLE WILL SCOLD!"! I then bugged him to tell me who's he referring to, but he kept showing me a cheeky smile. Then he said ,"the people who pay lor"!

Today is Qing Ming,
so we brought Dot to pay respect to my mum at CCK Crematorium.

I thought,
it's been almost a year,
i should not be crying when i see her photo or anything related to her,
but when i was there,
my tears just started flowing.

And i had to hide,
as there were other relatives too...

Time really flies,
Good Friday would be her first year anniversary,
we are getting monk to do some ceremony for her...

Heheee...i just realise,
Dot has got some sexy lips!!

*yawn*,
i have a very angry kid on my lap now,
he wants to play online games,
but i refused!!

Because i wants to update this angry kid's blog!!

:"Mummy, what you doing huh?!"
:"Come on, Mummy, I WANT TO PLAY!!"

I am ugly!

I WAS SHOCKED!

I was trying to snap some photos of Dot and me this evening,
when Dot refused!!

When i asked him why,
he kept quiet and kept giggling,
he replied, 'because i am ugly!'!

I am worried,
and i am 100% sure that i have never put that thought in him.
I was always telling him he is handsome and adorable.

Well, after a long while of assuring him that he is handsome NOT ugly,
he went on to tell me that, 'because mummy is ugly!!'!

Okay, this part i am confused.
Is he saying this to assure me of his confidence level in himself,
or he feels that i am ugly so i am not fit to take a photo with him!

Singapore Flyer

We brought Dot to the Singapore Flyer on Friday's morning when i had my OFF,
and GOSH!
He enjoyed the ride so much that he had been bugging me for a second round!!

ME!
I AM SO AFRAID OF HEIGHT,
that throughout the whole ride,
i was gripping on to the seat so tightly that my fingernails nearly came off!!

To add to the fear,
KD and i had a little fight before we left our house for the ride,
so we weren't talking much to each other when we were at the capsule,
if it wasn't the case,
i would had been gripping on to his arms than the seat!!

Then there is this fish pond where we could purchase the fish feed for $1.00,
it was real interesting watching those fishes crowding around the spot where Dot were throwing the feed at!

And there's tortise in the pond too!

HOORAY!!

Dot is fit to be back school tomorrow!

But me, i am still coughing like an old horse,
you know, those whooping cough,
that seem to haunt me every minute of my night,
nothing seem to help,
i had finished my medicine...

I am looking forward to my two days of OFF on Thursday and Friday!!
Many places to go,
we are taking Dot to the Singapore Flyer,
not forgetting a swimming session,
promised him since weeks ago.

And a facial and a relaxing body massage at FIL!!
WOOOOOOOooooooooooooo, it's a three and a half hours session!!

I am bringing my MIL along,
suppose to be a SURPISE,
since her birthday is just around the corner.

Happy Birthday, my dear...(19th March 2009)

Happy Birthday to you,
my dear!

Many dreams to be achieved,
and it all will start with a big step OUT!

May all your dreams come true...

We bought Dot to the GP for a review on his HFMD and gotten MORE MC from her!

Dot can only return to school next Monday as his ulcers did not disappear,
yet appeared redder than before!!

He's so active and talkative that i can forget that he's with HFMD at times.
Yeah, look at him,
being so active and funny at the clinic while waiting for the doctor.





Me, i gotten MC too.
I have had some ulcers in my throat too,
and is always having on and off kind of fever...

My throat is so dry at times,
that i can feel it cracking!!

Dinner at The Line

I had been excited about the dinner a week before...
I missed my friends so much,
due to change of working schedule,
i never seem able to meet up with them..

Okay, so i broke the rule and never did turn up with a dress,
so i got the penalty,
that is to kiss my partner a FULL 30 SECONDS,
tongues and all!!

I was suddenly so shy,
and Willie was so game on...

So we kissed,
and it was recorded...
AND PUBLISHED ON FACEBOOK!

Arrr, so pai seh lor!!

Oh yeah, and Willie got a neat surprise when the restaurant presented him with a OH SO BIG birthday cake!!










So, there's Willie & me, Sam & Charmaine, Audrey, Amanda, Shawn & Elaine, Mike & Wendy, Andy & Bec, Romi & Amy, Weiyi & Caterine!

Priority in life...

Priority in life...

I felt less frustrated,
less of a loser mum after reading one comment left by a blogger friend, Angeline.

Life is filled with grey areas,
i just got to have my priorities!

I could call home to check on Dot when i back to work tomorrow,
and when i am home taking care of Dot on Tuesday and Wednesday,
i could make sure my hand phone is within my reach,
so as to answer any queries should any parents or clients call me!

Perhaps,
when you are in the picture,
everything is a blur,
but when you take a step back,
you come out of the picture,
everything seem so clear...

I am such a lousy mum!
Yeah, i am at it again!!

My MIL bought Dot to a doctor this morning,
and was diagnosed with HFMD!!

His throat will filled with ulcers,
and he was having a running nose too...

Poor thing, i didn't even know!!

Okay, why am i a lousy mum??

First, when my SIL called me to tell me what the doctor said,
i struggled with the thought of taking Urgent Off to attend to Dot,
but i can't,
because there are things for me to attend to at the center this weekend!

Second, i was piSSed! REAL PISSED!!
But i couldn't speak my mind HERE and THERE!!
I AM JUST A FREAKING MUM THAT IS SO CONCERN OVER MY SON!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT??!!

Everyone is so selfish to ONLY care about WHERE he should be as WHO will be able to see him and PLAY with him!! IS THIS ONLY WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE??!!

I AM JUST SO PISSED!

Third,
when my boss called me earlier,
i did not even have the courage to speak my mind!!
I wanted to tell him to let me take urgent off to take care of my son during this weekend and next week....
but end up,
i beat around the freaking bush,
and told him i am taking off on Tuesday and Wednesday!!

What is wrong with me?

Why can't i be tough when it comes to my family, my son??

I can be tough when dealing with difficult customers,
i can be tough when dealing with difficult situations,
okay, maybe at times, i do break down and is at a lost,
but i always seem to be able to walk out of any bloody mess,
because i would try my best to solve than GRUMBLE!!

I am talking rubbish again....this always happen when i am anxious!

Kan Cheong Spider is my nickname!!

Why can't i have such fun too?

I am just too old and BIG to have such fun like Dot did at the playground!

When Dot present me with that little flower,

i guess he wants me to slow down,
and smell the flower!